Why Am I Here in this Mother Earth????

I was reading my friend Carlo's blog in Friendster. His blog named Kimo had raised the question of why we are here? Well I had asked myself this question thousands of time and never really got the answer. Most of the time when I do something or accomplished something, I think that this is what I am here for only to realize that that is not the reason coz something else is waiting or happen to make me realize that. Well then life goes on. For those who have read my blog on "MY Cubicle" is how I really feel about my job at this very moment. It is not fulfilling at all. Why am I still there then? Well for one reason the $$$$$$. With too much committed to life and with responsibility I can't seems to or dare to leave this cubicle of mine. Tried looking for another job but it just get getting harder and harder to find another. Neither am I daring enough to take the risk of leaving the job and making something for myself. Even if I want to make something for myself the same question keeps pooping out in me. What am I really good at? I am more like a person that can be quoted as "Jack of all traits and master of none". So how could I even think of venturing into anything especially with no capital or back-up saving or plan to help me. I wish I was master of something at least maybe I would be daring enough to take the risk and make it happen. However, a friend of mine (whom I have lost contact with over the years) told me that he rather be a "Jack of all traits and master of none" coz in this current world now that is what needed to survive. I guess in someway that is true. But do I really want to just survive?? Well the answer to that is - that is exactly what I am doing right now. Well that is on the job aspect. What about life itself? Why am I really here? What is it that GOD wants me to accomplished? (Blank!!) I asked this very same question to my hubby and he was actually telling me to join him in meditation. I told him that I do not see the connection of this 2 things coz he himself could not answer the question. He has been trying to get me into meditation saying that it will help me in life and to be less stress and to get answers to the unanswered questions. Well, don't take me wrong I have nothing against meditation except that I tried doing meditation only to realize I can't lock and contain my thoughts. Within seconds that I close my eyes I am somewhere in a different country, parts or corner of this world. I tried and it is just not happening. My hubby was so persistent at one time that I told him that I believe that everyone will have their calling to go into this sort of things and mine has just not arrive yet. Same goes for the mission that I am suppose to accomplish in this earth before I depart. Hopefully this will be answer one day and until then I WILL SURVIVE!!!!

My Garden - My new hobby

For those of you who have read my other blog on Garden Festive will definitely know that one of my new found hobby is gardening. Well after so much of care and patience, finally the Canna flowers started to bloom on each of the tree. It was so nice. My hubby and me were so excited over it that we actually took photos in stages from the start before blooming till the end where it bloom to the fullest. Even our Orchids were coming out with new flowers. The first flower that bloom was the one like in the picture here - One single yellow Canna flower. My hubby was so sweet that he actually send me a SMS saying that "It was wonderful to see our first flower bloom today (26 July 2006 - Wednesday) but what more exciting is the glow in my face. Also that Life is such, only time can tell, need patient and effort. Luv U" That was so sweet of him to actually say that and I was so touch that I almost cried. Well he never really like express his feeling like that to me before. The part that patient and effort was more to mean that I have to wait for a baby because I have been trying to conceive a baby for quite sometime now. I hope I will have better lucks this time around. Anyway now, I can't wait to see my Frangipanni to bloom with flowers. I guess that will take lots of patience because the tree is still a bit small. Will keep you guys updated.

The Malaysian International Landscape & Garden Festival

Last Sunday - 16 July 2006 - my hubby, mother in law and me went to the Malaysian International Landscape & Garden Festival 2006 held at the Perdana Lake Garden, Kuala Lumpur.
The festive with the theme called "The Oasis of Beauty" started on 6 July and we were there on the last day. Actually I has been ages since I been to Lake Garden. Why? Well since it is nearby, I guess we have just take it for granted and did not bother to go. Was quite surprise to find the garden still well maintain and it was wonderful to be there.
Everything was very nice. The weather was pretty hot though. Forgot to bring my cap but luckily I remembered the sunglasses. The excitement of seeing all the beautiful and healthy flowers made me want to buy the whole lot. But thank GOD! I did not. Being new to the gardening industry, I was not ready to venture too deep into it. I have not had a garden at home till now. I just move into my new terrace house. All this while I have been staying in flat and apartment. So the excitement of having my own home garden was pretty high. Just did the grass turf and some flowers.
It is not a easy task really. You must remember to water and fertilized the plant. Anyway, I am so excited that I don't mind watering the plant daily. It is quite therapeutic actually. Well let's just see for how long I keep up with this attitude before the laziness get me. Hahahahaa!
I also bought some orchids. Since the guy who sold it to me told me that I don't have to care much for the orchids except for watering them once daily and fertilize it 2 months once. So, I thought to myself why not try my new gardening hand in them. Hope it will turn up okay. Same goes for the Sunflower. The Sunflower was actually a starter kit. It has the pot, soil, seed and the fertilizer inside it. All I have to do was to open up the package and put the soil and seed into the pot and remember to water them daily. As for the fertilizer I have to wait for 2 weeks. A friend of mine who is good in gardening - Maniam actually told me that every time I plant some new plants I should not fertilize it immediately. I have to wait for 2 - 3 weeks depending on the type of plant. Well not knowing this I actually fertilize my Frangipani tree immediately upon planting. To make matters worse - my hubby fertilize again the Frangipani today before leaving for the Garden Festival not knowing I just fertilize the plant yesterday. Ahhhhhhhh! Now my only prayers is - I hope the plant won't die. Please Please Please Grow!!!!!!! The other excitement about this tree is I do not know what colour is the flower going to be because the Kakak who sold me the plant told me that she mix-up the whole bunch of trees due to heavy wind and rain. So I am pretty excited.
OH! yes I ended up buying the Soup Leave plant to be planted. Actually I think I need to take a course lah. I have to ask the lady in detail what to do and all that. I had to buy a special kind of soil in a small netting like - god know what it is call. Hey! if you guys are laughing at me right - laugh all you want because to be honest I know nuts about gardening. Wish me luck okay. So anyway I bought this think and now I have to go and plant it. Have not got the courage to plant this yet. Let's wait for the weekend.
Well that is the whole garden story. Most of the photos are taken in the festival.

The dinner table setting with the crystal setting is simply superb. Recommended to Laura my friend who is going to get married in December.

Both the small and the big Christmas tree was simply beautiful.

The backdrop which can be used for any dinner function using the red peppers are also very unique.
Found a miniature Petronas Twin Towers made from empty bottles of mineral water. Not sure who made it. Kind of creative don't you think.

Well I had a great day at the Garden Festival but the ending was a bit of anger mix with sadness. We were happily carrying away our purchase to the car. Mind you we have to walk so far to the car park because the car was parked at the "Tugu Kebangsaan" area. Almost reaching the car and only then my hubby realize that he had drop his key pouch somewhere. So we ended up waiting in the hot sun with all our load for his brother to come and pick us up. After which he drove us back to our home to take the spare car keys. Thank god he was around.

This is too good not to share it with my friends.

I am sure some of you might have asked this same question many times whether or not you are married or in a relationship. I had asked the same question myself many times - especially when I have a terrible fight with my hubby hehehehe. Well here is something to read and digest.

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said," How do I know if I married the right person?" I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind. Here's the answer. EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU. People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU. Falling is love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this): THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND. SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage. Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can "make" love. Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling.

My Cubicle (Part 2)

Well my previous cubicle article I spoke or sang more like it how my cubicle suck. Well I guess I will not do that anymore. Why??? Well take a look at this cartoon yourself and you will get the answer. God Bless Me!

My Cubicle

On June 17, 2006, I receive a very wierd email. It is wierd coz it came from my boss. What so wierd about it you may ask. Well the things is she sent me a email attached with a song that goes like this:
(The lyrics to the song to be sung in the tune of "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt)

My job is stupid
My day's a bore
Inside this office
From 8 to 4
Nothing ever happens
My life is pretty blank,
Pretending that I am working
Pray I don't get canned
My cubicle, My cubicle
It's 1 of 62
It's my small space
In a crowded place
Just a six by six board booth
And I hate it, that't the truth
When I give a sigh
As the boss walks by
No one ever talks to me
Or looks me in the eye
And I really should work
But instead I just sit here
And surf the internet
And my cubicle, my cubicle
It doesn't have a view
It's my small space
In a crowded place
I sit inside there too
And sometimes I sit here nude

Well that is how the song ended. So now, don't you think that was wierd? The first thing I was thinking was is she trying to tell me something? Well not that I do not do my work but I do suft the net and at times I do steal time off work to do my personal stuff. Not forgetting chatting of course. My collegue suggested for me to ask her this question Why? In my opinion it is a waste of time as well as like getting myself a dead sentence. So I just left it at that and go on doing what I do.... and this is one of it. Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Desparate Housewife Day

Today is my first day at work for the week coz I was on medical leave yesterday. Feeling miserable due to all the fertility treament I have been going through. The only thing I am looking forward is for the day to end and I get to go and eat my favourite mee goreng at Gandhi's in Brickfields. I made Balaji drove all the way to Brickfields yesterday but too bad it was close. We forgot that they usually close on Mondays. Well I can go today and also there is the Desparate Housewife series in Channel 8TV today at 10pm. Can't wait to watch it. Balaji started to enjoy watching it as well so it is more fun.

A Day Without Handphone

There was a time in my life I was without a mobile phone. I kept telling myself that I can be without a mobile phone. I mean what is the big deal right? Well those days are gone. Ever since I had my mobile phone, now I cannot be without one. The times has change. Now I do not travel anywhere without my mobile and if I did, somekind of crisis were definitely happen. What's more with the lousy public telecommunication service in Malaysia.

Just yesterday - 4/5/06 (Thursday), I took a half a day leave from office to go and get my hair done. I left the office in a hurry and did not realize that I left my mobile on my desk. By the time I realize, it was to late to turn back. I told myself okay nevermind no big deal, will try to make my day without my mobile. Boy Oh Boy!!! Was I so.......... wrong. My arrangement with my hubby is for him to pick me up at the town centre or at the Subang train station at whichever time that will be arranged later. Upon my hairdo which was at 5:30pm I went to a restaurant nearby to grab something as I still had not had my lunch. Morever, it was raining and I could not make way to the train station. When the rain stop I made way to the train station and call my hubby but he was not picking up. I borded the train anyhow and made way to Sentral station. Call him again and he was not picking up. I called my collegue to find out if my hubby called him but to my dissapointment he did not. So I I left message with my collegue and waited for a while at the Sentral station before calling him again but there were still no answer. So I decided to board the train and make way to Subang. I reach Subang almost 10pm and I try calling him again but to with no result. Finally I had no choice but to get a cab back home. The train station near Subang can be a very creepy especially at night. So I was a bit scared to take a cab but I had no other choice left. If I were to wait at the station I do not know how long more I had to wait and whether or not my hubby is going to come. So as time was an essence here, I had to dare myself to grab the first cab and hit home. Believe me I was praying hard by this time seeking GOD to accompany me on my journey home. The cab driver was very wierd. Halfway through he told me that he is going to take a different way as he need to pump petrol. Eventhough I was like a nervous wreck, coolly I told him that it will be alright with me. I just did not want to show him that I was so scared. However, upon reaching the petrol pump he told me that he decided not to pump there and continue his driving. By now I was almost worried to sick but still maintain my cool. He drove into some housing area which was pitch dark and I was praying harder now seeking GOD to protect me. Thank GOD finally I was on some familiar road again heading for home. The moment the cab stop infront of my home I was so relieve the I quickly jump out of the cab and handed him the cash and made my way to unlock my house door. Oh yeah! I did not forget to thank GOD a million times.

Finally my hubby call me at home and I shouted at him for not picking up his phone. He told me that he left his mobile on his desk as he could not take it along with him as he was having a discussion with his big boss. He then explain further that he came out few times to check if there were any messagges that I left for him and asked me why I did not leave message. I told him that I did not see the point of leaving messagges as he was not even picking up his phone. So all in all the day ended very badly with arguments (I was the one who was arguing, my hubby was only listening and trying to explain his situation).

The real manic monday

Well this is really a lousy monday. Woke up with a serious gastric problem. Thank god manage to drag myself to work. I will be dead if I were to take any medical leave this week. What with boss tension about coming out with the accounts in time and the board meeting which is scheduled for this thursday. Ah!!!!!!!!!!!!

Feeling really sick this whole day. The whole body is aching and think I am coming down with some virus fever or something. Hopefully not dengue. Brother Aru is admitted at the hospital for dengue. Poor him still in the hospital suffering. Don't worry bro.

It is almost time to go back home but what can I say Ji is not going to come and fetch me on time. God knows what time he is going to come. How shall I kill my time. Well the usual - lepaking at the food court behind with my Non-Profitable Org buddies. Hi guys! Thank god for them.